I know, it is boring. Depending on who you are, you may not have an issue with weight or diet or you do and like me have been battling it for ages but recently I decided to declare war, so to speak anyway. You see, I can no longer be overweight. Worse yet, I am more than overweight, according to BMI I am technically "obese," though most folks who know me would probably just see me as "large." I am not obese in the really gross sense, but overweight.
The weird part is I did not get here because I binge eat or have a bad diet. I got here apparently because my metabolism is too efficient and with all things considered I am healthy with no conditions that would cause this to happen except I was eating too many calories. This is where things get interesting.
The calories I have been eating have been in and around 1200 to 1600 calories, some people eat at these levels to lose weight. Some would consider this not enough. I am someone who can go to weight watchers and lose nothing. It has been very frustrating. I have gone on 1200 calorie diets and lost some, but ANY going off that means I lose nothing. Here is my story.
A little over 20 years ago, I got divorced. This brought radical change in my life and I was at that time 140 pounds and except for being pregnant I was never over 180. EVER. In the six months after my divorce my weight spiked up to 215 for no observable reason. I had all the tests, I worked out for 1.5 hours a day, I hired trainers, I kicked butt, but nothing except drugs got me back to ONEDERLAND, nothing. Drugs are evil, so I quit the drugs and gained back my weight slowly over time because 1200 calories or above is too much for me. I don't know why, I just have to accept that for a fact, because not to means I am doomed to a life of fatness and worse...
Up until recent years, I just accepted my body. I am otherwise healthy with low blood pressure and other vitals. I figured this is who I am. But my breast cancer a few years ago changed the game plan. My breast cancer is estrogen sensitive and that means fat is extra bad. My oncologist suggested if I could not get the weight off by diet alone then I should consider bariatric surgery. Really?
Since the cancer, I also found out I have sleep apnea, I use the machine and it is also a weight related condition, or so I hope. All this affects health. I put off thinking about another major surgery, but I really cannot anymore.
We have a doctor who has a program for bariatric surgery. It is a three month program where you take all kinds of classes, get a psych eval, see a dietition. The hard part was the 1,000 calorie diet. Wow, so generous...really? I did not think I could do it due to hunger. Here is what I was told to do. Eat only 1,000 calories. Make is simple, drink two low carb high protein drinks, a protein bar (low carb) if you need it, and a regular dinner. Do not eat wheat or sugar. So basically, for the last month I have done exactly that. The weird part is I am not hungry. I am not sure why. I think it is because I am shooting for 80 grams of protein and no more than 100 grams of carbohydrates. Plus, I think I have been dehydrated. The water seems to be doing a lot of things.
Before you think I must have lost a ton of weight, think again. I lost 10 pounds. That is about what a person on a regular 12 to 1400 calorie diet might lose, but for me, it was a lousy 1,000 calorie diet. Oh yeah, I can drink lots of water. No less than 64 ouces a day. And I should avoid coffee, but I have one cup in the morning.
So, sure, I could keep doing this using will power, which I have a fair share of, OR use a tool to help me and that part is what bariatric surgery is, only a tool. It does not mean I can get the surgery and go back to eating 1400 or more calories...because that will backfire. This is a forever diet.
So before you judge a person for being fat, remember me. I do not drink soda, I barely drink (I never felt I could afford the calories, I avoid sugar...and now wheat...I do not eat gross servings of food or anything. I just have a very efficient body. Just remember, not all fat people are created equal. If you are thin, you may have won the genetics lottery or at least have a metabolism that has more wiggle room than mine. I have learned a lot in the last month and I plan to write about it. This is a journey for me and it has only just begun.