Today, when I got up, I did my usual email thing and there was a note from my son Jason's mother in law. She misses reading my blogs and I have been remiss and I was thinking about what I might write about today and I thought, why not write about what a wonderful extended family my son has?
You see, I have three wonderful children and NONE of them live anywhere near me. This is something I try not to dwell on because if I did, it would probably send me into a tailspin. You see, for a majority of my life, my children were my life. They were my full-time, 24x7 job. It was not an easy job. Terry worked. I did everything else. There were times, in the early years, that parenting pushed me to my limits when my sleep was broken with feedings and baby issues. I did not use bottles. My kids were nursed and went to a cup. This was a HUGE investment of time and energy. In some ways, I was both mother and father, that is certainly true for Jen. It was true for my sons too, though I am not sure they get that. But, if they think about who was at their sports games, who was at their open houses and did activities and field trips, it was me.
So, Jennifer and Jared are in Texas, and Jason is out in Santa Clara and San Jose. When he was little he LOVED fish and chips and creamy clam chowder so sometimes I would treat him over at Race Street Fish House in Mountain View, CA. Little did we know then, as we know now, that his future relatives ran that store.
In college, Jason met Janelle. I have to say she is the love of his life. I never saw Jason interested in anyone else. Once they broke up and he came to see us out in Boston and he litterally cried over this break and I saw a young man that truly loved this girl. Later, they made up and the rest is history. My loss is that he fell in love with someone so entrenched in California that they will never move. Janelle and her wonderful Italian family has lived there for generations. As I understand it, they are some of the orginal Italians to settle in the San Francisco area and go back well over 100 years and can easily say, they are native Californians, where most of us who live there these days are recent in the last 40 years. So my dreams of Jason settling on the east coast were dashed to pieces but in the rubble of my hopes and dreams I saw a young man, who loved this wonderful woman and whose family truly was a family and home for my son.
You see, my divorce was not a pretty one. I struggled for a few years pulling out of it and getting my head screwed on again. Jason was the most amazing son (my kids did pretty well inspite of the turmoil) through all the silliness that transpired. He got his Eagle Scout award, he got his masters in mechanical engineering. He build a wonderful foundation for his life INSPITE of whacky parents and a divorce from hell. He found a home in Janelle's family that gave him what he needed. What EVERYONE needs. Loving and dear people. When I visit, I want to be adopted by them too! They are amazing! I did not grow up with quite the family as this, as I grew up with family all splintered up all over the country, so to see family, REAL family is about the best thing on earth.
When 911 happened Janelle was visiting. Jason had lived here that summer and done an intership at my company that basically set his career path in life. It was a tragic way to end a wonderful summer as Janelle had a ticket back home to San Jose, non-stop, leaving at 5:30 pm on 9/11 on AMERICAN AIRLINES!!! OMG. We had two kids ready to start college, and they were stuck on the east coast. We ended up renting them a car and they made the trek all the way back to CA. At Janelle's wedding, when her father spoke about my son, he said how he knew his daughter was in good hands. He loved my son, as his own, Wow, I could see this easily.
Nancy, you may not realize this. We are so far apart, but I wanted you and your husband to know and I have tears in my eyes as I write this, but you have given my son so much in the love you have given him that even though my son is far away, I know, without a doubt, he could never be in better hands. Your family is maybe the most amazing family I have ever known. I thank you for loving my son and being there for him in ways I could not simply because I am to far away. Sniff. Tears of happiness and joy here! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Thank you for your wonderful daughter who has been the love of his life.