The TrUtH According to Lisa

Class Reunions: It's about the people

Okay, I am waxing nostalgic. Post class reunion times do this to me. I’ll try to put to words how I feel about reunions and it has to do with the people. It is all about the people. It is about the people with whom I spent the first quadrant of my life. I think it is part of the same curiosity that drove me to do my family genealogy; I needed to find out where I came from because no one decided to share that along the way. Those ancestors I never knew still played a role in the person I became. It is kind of like they were the foundation of the quilt of my life. And these people, who knew me first in life, and who touched me along the way, they each added to my life as well.

Several of my classmates are quilters and I think life is kind of like a patchwork quilt. What does yours look like? My quilt is made more beautiful by all the various and unusual pieces. Some are colorful, some corners a little bit dark, but overall, I think my life quilt is plain to see.

Along the path we walk in life, I like to think each person we meet is a permanent connection. A thread or web connects each of us. We have interacted and made some sort of change to each other, it is undeniable. Some of these interactions are small and others more intense-- each becomes a unique design with a special place on my life’s quilt. While my life moves on in a more or less linear way, the patchwork that went on before is plain to see.

Some connections are brief and other connections continue for life and those quilt blocks are the most beautiful and elaborate in their design as the work there is on going. The people who have invested in me and our friendship help make my life quilt really beautiful.

The other patch pieces are no less beautiful. They may be more simple and plain—but there is beauty in simplicity as well. Okay, so maybe a few patches are DONE. We all have parts of our lives where the doors are closed. With reunions, I get to revisit those simpler quilt blocks and realize there is more work to be done—that some of the simple blocks are not finished. So, with each reunion, I surprise myself how much more gets added to my quilt. The end result is a more beautiful work of art. It is like this added treasure that was there for the discovery.

Maybe I am lucky. The reunions are a positive experience for me. Maybe it is because of how I look at my quilt? None of my quilt pieces were patched over, the flawed blocks are there for all to see. They sit right next to more brightly colored and more elaborate pieces. They remind me of what I have overcome. This tapestry of my life is all the better for all the people who have touched me and whom I have touched along the road of life. It is all about the people. And this quilt of mine, well it is far from being complete. It is one of those projects I keep adding new pieces to and I can revisit work I have done in the past and add more. My quilt, like my life, is an going work of art.

Class reunions you either love them or not...

I just got back from my 40^th high school reunion and had a great time. This is the third major reunion, including the 20^th and 30^th class reunion. From what I can gather, people either love or hate class reunions. Loving reunions seems very subjective. While I have been to three reunions, my husband has never attended any of his…I asked him “why not?” His class was at least 600 kids and mine was half as big. I have known many of the people in my class since kindergarten. My husband felt that he has kept in touch with the handful of people he cares about and with such a huge class, he doubted he would remember many of them. In addition, these were not the kids he spent his entire childhood growing up with. That seemed reasonable. I never considered class size as a determining factor that would cause someone not to go.

I do not live where I grew up so going home for a reunion during Thanksgiving Day week means expensive holiday airline tickets, but for the reunion, I just had to turn my head on the ticket price. I did not really like high school either, so going to the reunion, for me, is not returning to some sugar sweet memories that I am trying to relive. I only dated one boy in my class for the most part and that was only for a few weeks before he dumped me so I was not going to check up on old boyfriends. I was not really a member of any of the cliques…I hovered around the fringes. I was not a follower…and some of my best friends were in the classes that had already graduated by the time I was a senior. I was not popular, yet I was not a wall flower. I had to overcome morbid shyness and that was pretty hard. I really was glad when I graduated and soon thereafter I moved away forever and did not return for 15 years, that was a very long time. I did love where I grew up and being on the other coast for so long without returning gave me recurring dreams, one particular dream was of walking down my street and into my yard…I had that dream until I actually took that walk again and this time when I pinched myself to see if it was a dream, it was not, OUCH!

Over the years I kept in touch with several of my friends. I always had a lot of joy learning what they did with their lives. It was a lot of fun watching each of our lives unfold. Some of us had to press restart after failed marriages. When I heard of the 20^th reunion, I was excited to return and see where everyone had landed in life. I was fresh on the heels of my divorce and lived on the opposite coast, so I was 3000 miles away. I have to say I had a great time.

What I noticed was that some of the people I did not notice much in high school bloomed later and some of the ones who bloomed in high school had already begun to fade…some of the popular kids succeeded and some found the peak of success back in high school. It was just fascinating to see just where folks were in life. I think the most fun part was just how people had mellowed out. People I never spoke to in high school became fast friends. Old friends were still friends. Friends I expected might not be here had actually survived life and become successful, who knew?

At each reunion there are lots of hugs, lots of smiles, and lots of catching up. None of our reunions have been fancy or pretentious…I think it is safe to say we are more interested in talking to each other than worrying about making it a big fancy party. This last one was the most formal with a buffet dinner. Each year there are faces I knew instantly and others that left me guessing and asking a classmate, “who is that??” Overall, I find reunions to be very uplifting. Sometimes, they are sad when you realize how many classmates have already passed away, as did my best friend and reunion buddy who past in the last several years. Or, you learn of others who have suffered from severe health issues and continue in their struggle. Life takes its toll. Yet I marvel in watching folks champion these issue with their own personal strength.

I realized that this 40^th reunion is a real turning point. The next 10 year event will find us all at age 68. We can feel like we are not really old yet…but by 68 we will be certifiable old folks. Most will be retired by then; still more will have passed away. This was the year to really enjoy having the community of our childhood because the next one will find us remembering more and more of those who are no longer with us. I was disappointed that many chose not to come, because I truly do love to catch up with people. In the meantime, we have Facebook, which I find to be a wonderful tool to keep me connected to all kinds of friends, especially those who knew me way back when.